Jump to navigation. Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating abuse, sexual assault, abuse or harassment. At all times, Break the Cycle encourages readers to take whatever precautions necessary to protect themselves emotionally and psychologically. Young people are often hesitant to open up to adults because they may fear being judged or may feel the conversation topic is uncomfortable. However, as a parent one of the best things you can do is talking, supporting, and listening to them about these topics.
A majority of people who are sexually assaulted are first assaulted before the age of 25 , and 40 percent of female sexual assault victims are assaulted before the age of So where do you start? First, you need to know the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviors. Dating behaviors may start out healthy, but can become unhealthy when partners do not communicate their boundaries. For example, a dating partner may start a relationship by discussing sexual activity, but begin using unhealthy behaviors by exerting control over how quickly both partners should explore sexual activity with each other.
When dating partners do not discuss such behaviors and do not set boundaries in the relationship, unhealthy behaviors can get worse and may lead to more severe or abusive behaviors. Begin by opening up a casual and calm conversation about these topics. Frame the conversation as a way of loving your child. Start from a place of compassion and caring instead of a place of fear. Talk to your teen about what healthy sexuality means to them, and acknowledge that their sexual activity may be an integral part of their dating experience even if they are doing nothing more than kissing.
Let them know that sex can also be used as a tool of power and control. Teach your teen to assert their boundaries and respect those that their partners set.
Know the warning signs of dating violence, and make sure your teen does, too. Speak calmly and openly about sexual assault , and how important it is for your teen to talk to their partner about boundaries and respecting those boundaries. Become versed in the concept of consent. If your teen does not grant consent and affirm "yes" to sexual activity, then they have not given their consent, plain and simple. Sex without consent is assault. Remind them or introduce them to the concept that they are also allowed to stop sexual activity at any point.
For example, if they see someone coming on too strongly to a friend at a party, they can turn on the lights or shut off the music, or text or call to have the cops break up the party. Instead of judging their choice of partner, focus on supporting your child and discussing healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviors with them.
If your teenager feels judged, they may shut down or refuse to talk to you about the relationship -- more importantly, if something is wrong in their relationship, they may not ask you for help. Support this, but let them know how every relationship has ups and downs.
Regardless of the situation, sexual abuse is never acceptable, nor is any other kind of abusive behavior. Remember, conversations about sex, sexuality, and sexual assault are the beginning of what is hopefully ongoing communication between you and your teen. It might be awkward at first, but be patient and keep trying.