Do women want steamy sex or just a companionable cuddle? Bettina Arndt reveals what really gets women going. What do most women of a certain age want? Melbourne-based psychiatry professor Lorraine Dennerstein conducted path-breaking research on menopause which found many women reported a drop in libido at this stage of life. But not all women. Those who found themselves with a new man reported their sex drives were flourishing! Of course there are older women who simply never lose their sex drives, or who miraculously regain interest once young sprogs are off their hands.
Then there are women who find themselves with partners who lose interest, perhaps due to problems with erections, and suddenly realise they really miss physical intimacy.
So some older women are keen for more action, but it is more common for senior females to find they have no spontaneous desire—sex is simply never on their agenda. It includes really specific information such as recommending water-based lubricants rather than glycerine products, showing how to massage the vagina to keep the tissues healthy, warning against fabric softeners when you wash underwear and so on. Now, finally women have specialists to help with problems in this area. Across the country there are physiotherapists working with the pelvic floor, helping women keep those critical muscles healthy.
Plus there are doctors specialising in vulval pain and other problems with the vagina. For sexually active couples, the answer to the problem of the dreaded grope may lie in scheduling sex.
Finally they had a breakthrough and were able to sit down and negotiate a solution. She decided they should schedule regular dates for sex and initially they agreed three day intervals might work for both of them. They told me the plan really worked for them because on the days when there was no sex scheduled he could give her a big cuddle without her thinking he was trying it on.
This meant they were far more intimate all the time. And that applies to men too. It may be time for a helping hand. Vibrators are great for helping older women achieve regular satisfaction. Last year I found myself chatting to passers-by in an Adelaide shopping centre. A local pharmacy group was selling my book , What Men Want, to help customers with erection problems. An elderly woman slid up to me, nervously explaining she was widowed and really missed her husband. I told her it was a very good solution to provide her with sexual relief. But it does little for the problem of skin hunger.
I regularly receive emails from older men and women living on their own who yearn to be touched, desperate for real physical contact with a loved one. Sex and older women Are you satisfied? Sexercises to improve your sex life Have you done your sexercises today? Tags: relationships , sex , what women want , bettina arndt , advice. JJ 9th Oct pm. YourLifeChoices Preferred Partners:. Rss Twitter Facebook Read a recent enewsletter Advertise with us.
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